Tag Archives: 不准不开心

Why the way you’re handling conflict makes you look weak

first_img 50SHARESShareShareSharePrintMailGooglePinterestDiggRedditStumbleuponDeliciousBufferTumblr,Holly Buchanan Holly Buchanan is the author of Selling Financial Services to Women – What Men Need to Know and Even Women Will Be Surprised to Learn. She is the co-author of The … Web: www.SellingFinancialServicesToWomen.com Details One of the top ways leaders lose respect is by poorly handling conflict.  How you handle yourself in a conflict situation is so important because it is not the easy interactions that define who you are as a leader, it is the difficult ones.  Let’s say there is a conflict at work.  Someone is disagreeing with you.  How do you handle it?  Do you appear in control or out of control?  Do you appear secure or insecure?  Do you appear calm or emotional?  Do you appear strong or do you appear weak?  Now, from the title of the article, you’re probably thinking if you don’t stand up for yourself, or if you give in or if you let the other person “win” during a conflict at work, you appear weak.  Actually, the opposite is true.   Sounds counterintuitive doesn’t it.  But here’s why.In conflict, our instinct is to push against….to say, “You’re wrong!”In situations where someone disagrees with us, our natural response is to push against that person.  To prove that they are wrong.  Here are some examples:Opponent:  You’re too old to run for political office.Candidate:  I’m NOT too old to run for political office.Person 1:  It’s going to take 50 years before we see a real positive change. Person 2:  It’s not going to take 50 years to see a real positive change.Person 1:  What if we train our employees and they leave? That’s a waste of money.Person 2:   That’s not a waste of money.Bully:  You run like a girlGirl:  I do not!Pushing against is a reasonable and natural instinct.  Wanting to prove that the other person is wrong is a reasonable natural instinct.  And it makes you look weak.By pushing against you can appear aggressive, defensive and/or insecureWhen you push against, you think you appear strong, but often you look either aggressive or defensive.  What triggers someone to feel the need to be aggressive?  Insecurity.  What causes someone to be defensive?  Insecurity.  When you are being physically attacked these instincts can serve you well.  But we’re talking about interactions with co-workers, not muggers.  It may feel like these people are attacking you personally, but to achieve your goals, “going with” their argument may yield better results.   I hear you saying, “But what if they ARE wrong!”  When you start from the premise of “you’re wrong” you are no longer on that person’s side.  You are each focused on proving how the other person is wrong.  This makes win/win solutions nearly impossible.  It also makes the other person feel attacked rather than understood.  So what can you do to NOT appear aggressive, defensive or insecure (aka weak)?The power of going with vs. pushing against your opponentInstead of pushing against, go with your opponent.   Opponent:   Ronald Reagan is too old to be president.Ronald Reagan:  I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.Instead of pushing against being too old, Regan acknowledge he was older than the other candidate, but turned it into a positive, rather than a negative attribute.Person 1:  It’s going to take 50 years to see real positive change.Person 2:  It could.  I think it may be closer to 25 years before we see real positive change.When you push back and say “it won’t be 50 years” you set yourself up on opposite sides. By going with, or agreeing with the main point “we won’t see a real positive change” you are on the same side of the issue, simply talking about the timeline vs. arguing over the validity of the main premise. Person 1: What if we train our employees and they leave? That would be a waste of money.Person 2:  What if we don’t train them and they stay?You went with their argument “it’s a waste of money to train our employees.” But then followed it to a logical conclusion.        Bully:   You run like a girl.Girl:  And if you ran a little faster, you could, too.This is an incredibly powerful technique for dealing with bullies. Bullies are itching for a fight.  When you “go with” their argument, you throw them off balance.  They are expecting you to be defensive.  Instead you own the “insult” then flip it on its head to turn it into a positive.  This sends a message of security vs. insecurity.  For those of you who are still thinking, “But if I give in or let them have their way, I am surrendering!   And that’s going to make me look weak.”   This is NOT surrender.  When you surrender, you give the other person control.  In this case you are maintaining control of the interaction at all times.  In conflict, going with vs. pushing against is a way to mindfully influence a situation, rather than mindlessly react to it.    And THAT is the sign of strong leader.P.S. For those of you who recognize the philosophy of Aikido here, you are correct.  We’ll have much more on that coming soon.  last_img read more

The historian Jon Meacham, who wrote of ‘the soul of America,’ has been working on Biden’s speeches.

first_imgMr. Biden’s speech-writing process is run by Mike Donilon, the president-elect’s longtime adviser. But behind the scenes, Mr. Meacham has been playing a larger role than was previously known, both writing drafts of speeches and offering edits on many of Mr. Biden’s big addresses, including one he gave at Gettysburg last month and his acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention in August.TJ Ducklo, a spokesman for Mr. Biden, downplayed Mr. Meacham’s role. “President-elect Joe Biden wrote the speech he delivered to the American people on Saturday night, which laid out his vision for uniting and healing the nation,” Mr. Ducklo said. “Given the significance of the speech, he consulted a number of important, and diverse, voices as part of his writing process, as he often does.” Mr. Meacham declined to comment on his role.During the Trump years, Mr. Meacham has been a regular presence on both MSNBC and NBC News’ broadcasts, where he served as a paid contributor. Mr. Meacham, who has voted for presidents in both parties, played an unusual role during the campaign. He publicly endorsed Mr. Biden in an op-ed and received a prime speaking slot at the D.N.C. this year.“To record history doesn’t mean you are removed from it,” Mr. Meacham said over the summer, noting he had been friends with Mr. Biden for a long time.Mr. Meacham is currently not expected to join the administration. But his role helping to craft Mr. Biden’s biggest addresses has shades of the presidential historian Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr.’s relationship with President John F. Kennedy. Mr. Schlesinger worked for Mr. Kennedy’s campaign and as a member of his White House staff.- Advertisement – The network declined to comment on Monday, but Mr. Meacham will no longer be a paid contributor going forward, according to a person familiar with the decision. That person added, however, that Mr. Meacham would be welcomed back on the airwaves as a guest.Indeed, Mr. Meacham appeared on MSNBC both shortly before and after Mr. Biden’s speech. About half an hour after the speech had concluded, the anchor Brian Williams introduced Mr. Meacham by saying, “I’m not the historian that you are, and I don’t have the Pulitzer that you do, but do you concur that is the way we are used to hearing from our presidents?”“Absolutely,” Mr. Meacham responded, without disclosing that he been involved in the writing of Mr. Biden’s speech. Jon Meacham, the presidential historian and biographer, has been helping to craft President-elect Joseph R. Biden Jr.’s speeches, according to multiple sources involved, including helping to write the acceptance speech that Mr. Biden that he delivered Saturday night from Wilmington.In that address, Mr. Biden spoke of a mission “to rebuild the soul of America, to rebuild the backbone of this nation, the middle class and to make America respected around the world again.” Mr. Meacham’s 2018 book, “The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels,” has long served as a touchstone for Mr. Biden, who read it and has reached out to Mr. Meacham in the past to discuss passages he liked.- Advertisement – – Advertisement – A Biden official added that Mr. Meacham was involved in discussions about the themes in the victory speech.- Advertisement –last_img read more

Letters to the Editor for Tuesday, Feb. 26

first_imgMore from The Daily Gazette:Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s press conference for Sunday, Oct. 18Foss: Should main downtown branch of the Schenectady County Public Library reopen?EDITORIAL: Urgent: Today is the last day to complete the censusEDITORIAL: Beware of voter intimidationCuomo calls for clarity on administering vaccine Categories: Letters to the Editor, OpinionAdd these to Trump’s “accomplishments”I would like to add to the 289 Trump accomplishments alluded to in Mr. DeAngelus’ Feb. 17 letter. Oh, where to start. Our national debt is estimated to be $25 trillion by 2021. So much for Republicans’ fiscal constraint. Our children and grandchildren will thank us. Mexico will pay for the wall. I forgot, that won’t happen. The rest of the world looks up to us — not. The tax cut will mostly benefit the middle class. Really? The swamp will be drained. Now that’s a good one. I would like to add a few more to get to an even 300, but the paper might run out of space.James Brodie Schenectady Do more to coordinate social justice effortsThe need for improved educational services for youth and adults indicates social justice coordination among agencies is essential.Recognition of this by SUNY’s University Center for Academic and Workforce Development (UCAWD) has established a network of Educational Opportunity Centers collaborating with state, municipal and county agencies, secondary and post-secondary institutions, community-based organizations, and business and industry in its efforts.Academically and economically underserved students who are at least 16 years old  have accessed traditional classroom learning with applied science or hands-on projects to become skilled workers for businesses.Collaboration among guidance counselors, teachers, teacher assistants, parents and students is essential for the state Board of Regents’ Whole Child Social and Emotional Learning approach to access classroom learning and applied science projects for the students.In our area, the GE Brilliant Career Lab was established through partnership by the GE Foundation, the GE Power, and Schenectady city’s public-school district.The reproduction of that model requires social-justice minded individuals to persuade municipal and school district officials to utilize the State-County Shared Services Initiative to coordinate the federal-state funded 21st Century Community Learning Center program with the UCAWD network for academically and financially underserved youth and adults.Michael McGlynnWatervlietcenter_img Our area would be the best place for AmazonMr. Bezos, please consider the New York Capital District/Tech Valley as an excellent Amazon HQ2 LIC alternative.1. Believe the governor could make it happen in his backyard with incentives.2. Benefit to the region. Jobs create income which generates tax revenue from 25,000 employees, people have disposable income which creates revenue for local businesses and additional tax revenue, and reduction in government funds required to support unemployment issues.Available real estate for a project of this proportion. Downtown Albany skyscrapers that could be renovated, state office complex, Rensselaer waterfront.3. Quality of life with great healthcare, low crime, great schools, affordable housing, low traffic, increasingly temperate weather, low probability of floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, natural disasters.4. Intellectual talent including established model for technical transformation, already being the No. 1 location in the world for intellectual talent in the field of nanotechnology.Leading technical companies already established here including Global Foundries (recently brought 10,000 jobs), Regeneron (leading pharmaceutical firm growing exponentially), and GE’s Global Research. Access to new talent through leading world class technological universities: RPI, SUNY Polytechnic, SUNY Albany, Albany Law.5. Location: currently 2.5-hour car/train ride to New York City or Boston. Modern, easily accessible international airport. Capital government proximity.6. Recreation: extensive hiking and biking trails, swimming, skiing, fishing, hunting, boating, snowmobiling, parks, clean air/water, active outdoor minded people.Proximity to Adirondack and Catskill Mountains, Saratoga, Lake George, Hudson, Battenkill, and Delaware rivers. Proctor’s off-Broadway plays. Short trip to skiing, Cape Cod, New Jersey Shore, Hampton’s beaches, and Montreal.Michael IzdebskiBethlehemlast_img read more

Saga LNG’s mid-size carrier completes sea trials

first_imgSaga LNG Shipping’s 45,000-cbm liquefied natural gas carrier named Saga Dawn has completed sea trials in the East China Sea.As reported by LNG World News, the LNG vessel left China Merchants Heavy Industry’s (CMHI) shipyard in Jiangsu last Thursday.Saga Dawn has returned from a 5-day trial where the vessel showed “great performance,” FKAB, that developed the mid-sized vessel together with LNT New Technologies, said in a statement on Tuesday.“The speed and manoeuvring tests showed very good result, and the speed of 17 knots is well above both contracted speed and model test results,” FKAB said.This vessel is the first LNG carrier in the world using the LNT A-Box LNG containment system developed by LNT Marine.It has a deadweight of 24,500 tons at design draught and 29,500 tons at freeboard draught.Saga Dawn is powered by a four-stroke dual fuel engine and auxiliary engines capable of running on natural gas.Saga LNG’s chief David Wu said last week that following sea trials the company would work towards to the gas trails in February or March 2019. After that, the vessel would start its operations.This is the first LNG carrier for Singapore-based Saga LNG Shipping with the company planning to expand its fleet with additional small and mid-sized carriers. LNG World News Stafflast_img read more

Monmouth seeks revenge on Quinnipiac

first_imgMonmouth seeks revenge on Quinnipiac February 22, 2020 STEPPING UP: Rich Kelly and Kevin Marfo have led the Bobcats. Kelly has averaged 16.2 points and 4.6 assists while Marfo has put up 10.2 points and 13.2 rebounds per game. The Hawks have been led by Ray Salnave and Deion Hammond. Salnave has averaged 14.4 points and 4.7 rebounds while Hammond has put up 15.8 points per game.ROBUST RICH: Kelly has connected on 37.1 percent of the 170 3-pointers he’s attempted and has made 6 of 21 over the last three games. He’s also converted 88.3 percent of his foul shots this season.SIGNIFICANCE OF 75: Quinnipiac is 0-7 when opposing teams score 75 or more points. Monmouth is a perfect 7-0 when its offense scores at least 75 points.STREAK STATS: Quinnipiac has lost its last three road games, scoring 64.7 points, while allowing 79.3 per game.DID YOU KNOW: Monmouth has committed a turnover on just 18.2 percent of its possessions this season, which is the second-lowest percentage among all MAAC teams. The Hawks have turned the ball over only 13.1 times per game this season.___ For more AP college basketball coverage: https://apnews.com/Collegebasketball and http://twitter.com/AP_Top25___This was generated by Automated Insights, http://www.automatedinsights.com/ap, using data from STATS LLC, https://www.stats.comcenter_img Associated Press Share This StoryFacebookTwitteremailPrintLinkedinRedditQuinnipiac (12-13, 7-8) vs. Monmouth (15-11, 9-6)OceanFirst Bank Center, West Long Branch, New Jersey; Sunday, 2 p.m. ESTBOTTOM LINE: Monmouth seeks revenge on Quinnipiac after dropping the first matchup in Hamden. The teams last faced each other on Jan. 12, when the Bobcats outshot Monmouth from the field 44.7 percent to 37.3 percent and hit 17 more free throws en route to the 14-point victory.last_img read more

a month agoArsenal director Venkatesham plays down January transfers: It must be tactical

first_imgTagsTransfersAbout the authorFreddie TaylorShare the loveHave your say Arsenal director Venkatesham plays down January transfers: It must be tacticalby Freddie Taylora month agoSend to a friendShare the loveArsenal’s managing director Vinai Venkatesham has played down the likelihood of the club making moves in the January transfer window.The Gunners were active in the summer market, signing Nicolas Pepe, William Saliba, Kieran Tierney, Dani Ceballos, David Luiz and Gabriel Martinelli.But Venkatesham says any more signings in January will only come out of necessity.He told Bloomberg: “Well listen, we’ve just been through the transfer period in the summer, that’s what we always call the main transfer window. “We were very aggressive in that transfer window, signing a number of new players that we’re very excited about, predominately targeting young players that we believe can grow and develop with us over future years. “When we look forward to January, we’ll see when January comes. I’d say that we always treat the summer window as being the more strategic window.The January window is the one where you need to be a bit more tactical, maybe responding to an injury or another demand. But really our work is done in the summer and we’re really pleased with what we did in the summer.’Asked whether the defence would be strengthened again, he continued: “Listen, as I’ve said, we’ve been really focused over the summer, we made some defensive reinforcements signing David Luiz from Chelsea and Kieran Tierney from Celtic.”We’re looking forward to seeing how those players progress and how they do over the course of the season. “The players that we look for are the players we believe will make the biggest impact on the pitch from a sporting perspective.” last_img read more

Former N.C. State Star Julius Hodge Is Not Happy With John Calipari’s Recruiting Tactics

first_imgJulius Hodge talks about John Calipari's recruiting.Twitter/@Follow24HodgeOn Monday, N.C. State received a commitment from three-star forward Shaun King. It did not take long for Kentucky to muddle up this recruitment, offering King shortly after his decision. King did not sign anything tying him to the Wolfpack, and is reportedly weighing his options.Former N.C. State star Julius Hodge is not happy about this develop, and took to Twitter to express his discontent. He doesn’t specifically call out John Calipari, and denies that he is referring to Kentucky, but that is pretty clearly the target here.I remember when there was a time when coaches respected already “committed” athletes. I only had ONE not do so…seems old dogs=old tricks.— Julius Hodge (@Follow24Hodge) April 28, 2015CBB recruiting is a vicious part of the business. It’s the guy trying to get a woman’s phone # and she says “I have a bf” and he says “so?”.— Julius Hodge (@Follow24Hodge) April 28, 2015Why is #BBN on my back? I made no mention of Coach Cal in my tweets. Seems to me Cinderella’s shoe must fit huh? http://t.co/qQebzKBWs2 #WPN— Julius Hodge (@Follow24Hodge) April 28, 2015College basketball is about the perfect fit. Choose the morally hollowed/sexier pick? Don’t be mad when they cheat on you/over recruit.— Julius Hodge (@Follow24Hodge) April 28, [email protected] this argument NEVER gets old.— Julius Hodge (@Follow24Hodge) April 28, 2015“@shacker56: I am not 1 of the fans that trash plyrs 4 who they pick.Trashing a coach is not cool** which coach YOU THINK fit the narrative?— Julius Hodge (@Follow24Hodge) April 28, 2015Hodge has a point, and generally, college basketball recruiting does not get as cutthroat as college football does after commitments occur. However, it is up to Kirk to make the decision that is right for him, and if Kentucky causes him to reevaluate things, so be it.last_img read more

Same old song The debate over copyright litigation in the music industry

first_imgHearing the opening notes of the Scottish rock band’s 2002 single “Cry,” he recognized a hook that was unmistakably similar — identical, even — to the guts of his band’s “Indestructible,” recorded five years earlier. “But that said, there are always many ways to work around (the similarities).” LEAVE A REPLY Cancel replyLog in to leave a comment Advertisement “They basically took ‘Indestructible’ note for note,” Good recalled in a recent interview. “They completely admitted they were in the wrong.” Twitter Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace was among those who were stunned by the parallels. Even knowing that, Good decided against suing the band, whose mega-hit “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” made them international stars. He chalked it up to a mistake by the album’s producer rather than malicious intent and doesn’t get paid royalties off the track. In January, Lana Del Rey defended her moody ballad “Get Free” on Twitter saying Radiohead wanted royalties for its similarity to their hit “Creep.” She felt her song was an original work that wasn’t inspired by the rock smash hit, which itself was subject to a copyright settlement over sounding like the Hollies’ 1970s track “The Air That I Breathe.”Del Rey’s dispute sparked widespread debate on social media as music fans rushed to YouTube and streaming services to deliver their own verdicts. Plagiarism allegations are frequently a hot topic in the music industry, but rarely does the conversation leak outside recording studios quite as it has in recent memory. Raine Maida, left, of Our lady Peace, and Matthew Good are pictured in Toronto on Monday, January 22 , 2018. – THE CANADIAN PRESS/CHRIS YOUNG Advertisement Advertisement TORONTO — Matthew Good didn’t need very long before he was certain Simple Minds ripped him off. Login/Register With: Facebook “Let’s face it, mathematically there are only a certain number of chord progressions you can do,” he explained.last_img read more

Wealthsimple launches roboadviser service in UK its 2nd international market

first_imgTORONTO – Wealthsimple’s robo-adviser services are now available in the United Kingdom.Earlier this year, the Toronto-based company tested an invitation-only trial version of the product in the U.K.CEO Michael Katchen says the U.K. expansion fits in with Wealthsimple’s plan to build a global financial services firm.The U.K. is Wealthsimple’s second international market after launching in the United States at the end of January.The company currently has more than 40,000 clients in Canada and the U.S. with $1 billion in assets.last_img

Bill 12 New law would allow Alberta to restrict flow of oil

first_imgEDMONTON – The Alberta government has introduced legislation that would give the energy minister power to restrict the flow of oil, gasoline and natural gas leaving the province.Once passed, Marg McCuaig-Boyd would be able to direct truckers, pipeline companies and rail operators on how much product could be shipped and when.Violaters would face fines of up to $1 million a day for individuals and $10 million a day for a corporation.Alberta is locked in a dispute with British Columbia over the Trans Mountain pipeline.The pipeline expansion to the West Coast has been approved by the federal government, but B.C. is fighting it in the courts.Alberta Premier Rachel Notley is declining to frame the legislation as solely payback to B.C., but she says her government is committed to putting pressure on its western neighbour.last_img read more